THE ROAD NOT TAKEN
By: Robert Frost, 1920
Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
Oh my glob..! I was never good at poetry (both reading & writing). I honestly did not understand the interpretation of each line. But "sort of" have an idea of what it might mean. I think.. The roads signify the decisions we have to make in life. For instance, "Where to eat?" -- In a popular restaurant/food chain or... In a less visited, unfamiliar cafe you stumbled onto.
Where in my case, I had chosen to go in a road I'm so unfamiliar with and was less traveled.
A little bit of background..
In college, I took up Nursing simply because it's my "parent's choice." I wasn't really able to decide for myself, since they were the ones paying for my schooling. Aside from that I didn't know what course I wanted back then. Although I had choices like -- BS Biology, Archaeology, Dentistry, Veterinary Medicine etc.. I took the road where my parents drove me to.
After 5 years (4 years in Nursing school + almost 1 year which included my review for the boards, the board exam and long months waiting for the result, and more months before getting ahold of my license), I have encountered another windy road.. I was able to get a job at a Dialysis Center easily thanks to my uncle (who is a doctor), 'cuz he was good friends with the BIG BOSS (the owner). However, I wasn't immediately promoted into a staff, because I had to undergo training first. It was a very unfamiliar road for me to walk to (unlike when I was in Nursing school where I had some ideas and expectations), it was my first time to see a dialysis machine (which I have no idea how it looks like even in pictures nor have I ever imagined how it looks like). Everything about the dialysis thing for me was completely new, aside from the meaning of dialysis and why it's needed since we took up that topic in Nursing. So I trained almost everyday until I was able to learn and get more familiar and comfortable in the field. I was trained for a month, within that span of time, I was attached with my fellow nurses, doctors, technicians as well as the patients. And then again the road ends and I have to walk through another road. This time it's a very familiar road where I have been through before. This time, I was accepted to work in a government hospita, it was the biggest hospital in the province. I have always wanted to go back in this hospital because I knew I would learn a lot. But now I came back not as a student nurse, not as a staff (again), but as a trainee. It wasn't that bad being a trainee, I know I have to learn before I could get promoted. It always takes one step at a time to get to the top of the ladder. Unlike other nurse trainees or volunteers, we were given allowances and a free meal each day. It was very hectic however. There were too many patients.. "Literally," the patients outnumber the beds/bed capacity of each department/area. But that wasn't always the case. For 3 months I was assigned in the Medicine ward where patients with cardiovascular, neurologic, nephrologic, gastric, and pulmonary diseases were catered. I felt like I'm on the top of the world, since the critical cases were in that area. I was able to see life and death situations.. People survive, people die. I was able to see how difficult and critical it is to have a serious disease. I saw how important it is to take care of ourselves especially our health. I realized every road we take, we see different things that can change our perspective. Since I was assigned in that ward, I felt so afraid that what I've seen would/could happen to the people I care about. It was an eye opening experience that I didn't want to look back again. I was horrified, I didn't want to see people die, but I had no choice.. Almost everyday I encounter people die, some of them are my patients, some were not. Either way, they were still alive in a few minutes the next time you look, their heart/brain/lungs stop. They're gone and I wasn't able to do anything that could bring them back. Oh well.. that's life. People live, people die. I just have to move on with my life (thank God I'm still alive and well..) Now I'm still working at the hospital. I get more stressed the longer I keep working. I started to feel how it's like to be at the bottom of the food chain. I work, I get tired, I get paid less than I deserve, I didn't agree on some of rules/regulations/policies, the boss is strict.. I started complaining about my work. I'm the kind of person who wants freedom, and I realize I don't have freedom in this job. I got sick of it..
I was looking for a way out.. I was looking for another road. And then I finally came to it. It was a familiar road.. I knew I was supposed to get into this road back then but instead I took the other. Now I have encountered this road again which I haven't gone through.
Now, I'm still at the fork of the road and I can see that just a few people have passed through it..
A road less traveled.. :)
